Donald Trump’s election to the office of president this week has given us the rare opportunity to, as an entire species, stop and take stock of where we are and how we got there.

Despite my 20-year campaign to treat the whole of the Internet as a write-only medium I have taken the time to read the opinions of others, and if this week’s news has done anything it is to create a glut of opinion.  In accordance with the age-old laws of economics when a surplus of opinion meets an unchanging demand for same the value of opinion falls.

Thanks to my reading I know that Donald Trump’s election was as unforeseeable as it was inevitable. Unscrupulous pundits misrepresented accurate polls, while cute pundits studiously  presented inaccurate polls.  The right people weren’t polled, people on the right weren’t polled, the people who were polled weren’t right, there aren’t the right people polling.

The working class were to blame for getting Trump elected, especially the working class who are also the middle-class and the high earners.  They dealt a blow to the establishment, who are delighted by having one of their own elected.  Blacks, Latinos and Democrats stayed at home, with Trump’s support coming from blacks, Latinos and traditionally Democratic voters.

The third party candidates took votes from Trump and handed him the victory and, thus, are entirely to blame…in a blameless sort of way.

Many racists voted for Trump and we must listen to their concerns, while also ignoring their concerns, vocally rejecting their concerns and conceding that their concerns weren’t a key factor in this election.  Fascists, emboldened by Brexit, recognised that Trump was an entirely different kettle of fish to Brexit, but voted for him anyway…and they aren’t really fascists. Unless they are.

One thing is for certain, Trump’s election is bad news for Corbyn.  Unless it happens to be good news. Although there’s a good chance it makes no difference at all, obviously.

As a president Trump is certain to carry out the outrageous promises he made on the campaign trail while he’s busy discovering that he cannot simply carry out the outrageous promises he made on the campaign trail.  He’ll be dictating the agenda to the GOP while they dictate the agenda to him, which will lead to a government whose agenda  is simply a feedback loop.  The Republicans will reign-in Trump, while he drags them to his democratic roots and, anyway, the supreme court will rigorously enforce the limits of executive power…a case of putting the court before the arse.

It seems most likely that Trump will be the first two-term president to be assassinated before taking office and impeached in his first year while handing over to the VP because he simply isn’t interested in doing the job.

Liberals go on-line to express their fear that Trump’s election has emboldened the alt-right while alt-right go on-line to write “nigger” and “special snowflake”, which is exactly what they’ve been doing for the last 8 years, except that the on-line liberals they’re upset about aren’t cowering in the safe-spaces (which they hate), but are out protesting on the street (which they hate) and not on-line at all (which is confusing) and it’s anybody’s guess whether all this is the fault of the people who get triggered or the people with the actual triggers.

At the end of it all the important thing is that I’ve learned a valuable lesson; opinions are like arseholes…I’d have been much happier if I hadn’t gone on-line to see yours.